I Tested HER — Here's My Honest Review Of This Inclusive Dating App

When used with intention, dating apps are an extremely valuable resource—but many mainstream apps lack variety in terms of sexual preference. HER was created by queer women for queer women to be an inclusive dating app for queer and FLINTA (female, lesbian, intersex, non-binary, trans, and agender) communities. 

Founded in 2013, HER Social was created out of frustration towards other dating apps not feeling inclusive enough for queer and FLINTA communities. Founder Robyn Exton felt so strongly about creating a safe and inclusive space for lesbians that she quit her day job, learned to code, and launched the app. 

A decade later, HER has expanded to become the world's most loved FLINTA community and relationship-building app. According to the app's public data, HER has more than 13 million users in over 125 different countries with those numbers rising monthly. 

From my experience scrolling, there are a decent amount of profile options. In other words, the algorithm goes on for a while and doesn't show you the same two queer people over and over (hello, tinder), but I also live in a very populated city. 

Unlike other dating apps, users can share what they’re looking for in their profile. Options such as hookups, monogamous relationships, polyamorous relationships, new friends, and something casual are displayed on each profile. 

As an inclusive platform designed to appeal to the queer community, HER is used for more than just finding romantic relationships. Users can also request people as friends before matching to build a community or make a network of friends with possible matches. 

Nadège, sex scholar and bestselling author of Sextrology is an active HER user who found the app through friends in the community. 

She tells us, "HER's model is pretty standard when compared to other apps. I like that I can answer questions that show my personality, and I like that there is a community option so that I can connect with friends.”

When setting up your profile on HER, you're greeted with pronoun, gender, and sexual identity labels to choose from. Vast label offerings such as intersex, polygender, bicurious, sociosexual, and more are all included as choices. 

Optional steps include sharing your star sign, height, alcohol and smoking preferences, political views, diet, religion, child preferences, and interests. There is also the option to add pride pins and questions you'd want to use as conversation starters with someone. 

One feature that makes HER stand out amongst other apps is its discover page, which allows you to see all your likes simultaneously, almost like a menu. Nadège is a big fan of this feature and shares,"It's fun to see who has viewed my page and whose nearby… It's like dating voyeurism, and I love it." 

Unfortunately, the discover page is not offered without a premium subscription—although you are able to see a slim number of people who have liked your profile per day. This is one of my personal favorite features and is excellent for people who are a little more skeptical or on the shy side. 

Similar to the dating app FEELD, HER has done away with the one quick swipe for yes or no. Instead, you need to scroll all the way down and press the heart or the x so that person won't show up in your feed again. I've often needed to remind myself of this one, as the classic swipe is engraved in my brain. 

Once you match with someone you can share photos and gifs in your chat room, but no video content is allowed. 

I recommend HER’s free version for those seeking out queer community, but if you’re seriously looking for a relationship you should opt for a premium subscription. The cost can certainly be worth the investment for those interested in using the app to its fullest potential.

I initially signed up for HER seeking a romantic relationship (which I ultimately found elsewhere), but I kept the app due to its community feature, which is very different from other apps I’ve experienced. 

Anyone and everyone in FLINTA / LGBTQ+ communities that doesn't identify as cis male might enjoy using HER to foster community or connection. 

HER focuses on a very specific community, and if you do not identify as a part of that (FLINTA and LGBTQ+ communities), I highly recommend not using it out of respect for users. 

HER has many features that allow you to stick out and meet like-minded people. As Nadège shared, the community feature will enable you to get to know a person before officially matching or connecting, and highly recommends using it to possibly spark a friendship first.

Nadège has had most of her success with premium as it’s helped to foster many of her relationships.