Why Personal Loss Affects Sleep + How To Be Gracious To Yourself When It Does

Knowing loss is a part of life doesn't make it any less heartbreaking or easier to endure. Whether it's the passing of a loved one, a tough breakup, or the end of a friendship, saying goodbye is painful and all-consuming, and it can affect your appetite, your mood, and even your sleep.

So while you might wake up feeling out of sorts, enduring these bad dreams can do more good than harm in the long run. When these dreams creep in, give yourself a hug, take a shower, or sip something warm. Any little act of self-love will be self-soothing during this process.

Unfortunately, when difficult life events disrupt sleep, it can affect the way you function on any given day. In a 2020 sleep research paper published by the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, it was found that adequate sleep resulted in positive "valence," a heightened emotional state, while inadequate sleep resulted in negative valence. Meaning that when someone is getting poor-quality rest, they are more sensitive to the world around them.

The solution, then, is to clock in the highest quality of sleep possible during emotionally challenging times. Easier said than done, but making your sleep hygiene a priority will help. Try to set a sleep schedule and stick to it, create a soothing bedtime routine that relaxes your mind, body, and spirit, and keep your bedroom thermostat between 65 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Brager adds that taking daytime naps can also be helpful for restoring energy. You might also consider taking a sleep supplement before bed for extra support or wrapping yourself in a weighted blanket to further promote a sense of calm.*

When loss is weighing heavy on you, the hours can seem to drag on forever. You may find comfort in knowing you're not alone, but even if solidarity brings you little solace, the most important thing you can do is to give yourself grace and be kind. Let yourself feel every emotion in the grieving process fully, speak to a professional for therapy and guidance, and try your best to rest. It's what your body, mind, and healing heart need most right now.