An explosive orgasm isn't necessary for a pleasurable sexual experience. However, orgasms are considered to be a defining factor in super-satisfying sex for women, according to a 2016 study1 about the female orgasm published in Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology.

It'd be nice to have one go-to method to make every girl you ever sleep with have an orgasm, but the truth is, no two women are exactly alike in terms of how they want to be touched.

"Every single body is different and wants different things. Intimacy is built on learning your partner's turn-ons and their preferred methods of stimulation," sexologist and certified sex coach Gigi Engle tells mbg.

You're not a mind reader. Open, clear communication about consent, what feels good, and what doesn't is essential to pleasurable sex that leads to orgasm.

"Female orgasms are closely tied to mental and relational factors," says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist for Adam & Eve. This means many women often need to be in the right mindset with a person who makes her feel comfortable to be able to surrender herself to an orgasm. 

Establishing a strong connection, spending time nurturing your romantic connection, or even just sexting throughout the day can help to build excitement for what's to come—literally!

When you're together IRL and starting to transition into sex, be mindful and make sure she's really turned on, totally game, and ready to play.

If she's into the idea of having sex but still is having trouble relaxing and getting in the mood, AASECT-certified sexuality therapist Rose Hartzell, Ph.D., Ed.S., suggests reading erotica and lighting candles to help her get into that sexy mindset. 

Some women can orgasm through erogenous zone stimulation only. Spending 10 to 20 minutes on nongenital body parts will help a woman get more aroused and have a better chance at optimum pleasure, says Skyler.

"Only 25% of those with a vulva can have an orgasm with penetration alone," adds Skyler. If you have a penis, recognize that penetration might be what gets you to have an orgasm—but most likely, it's not how she's going to have one.

Stimulating the clitoris is key to how to make a girl orgasm. The average woman needs this for about 20 minutes in order to climax, says Engle. Once clitoral contact is made, she recommends following the three S's—slow, subtle, soft—and letting your partner guide you faster and harder if/when she's ready.

Hartzell likes to refer to sex toys as the "hearing aid for the clitoris" because vibrators can help speed the process along and provide more intense orgasms that manual or oral stimulation may not offer. Experiment with different types of pleasure products and sensations before, during, or after penetrative sex to stimulate the clitoris and inspire maximum pleasure (and perhaps even multiple orgasms).

She may naturally lubricate when turned on to become "wet," but it's usually a good idea to use a high-quality intimate lubricant product as well, especially if you're going to be penetrating her.

If and when her natural lubricant wears off (which is normal, no matter how turned on someone is), lube will help avoid tears and reduce friction, allowing her to continue enjoying the experience.

Orgasms are great, and it's great that you care about your partner having fun during sex! However, Skyler warns that when we overemphasize orgasm, we can actually put too much pressure on both the giver and receiver and ultimately sabotage the whole experience.

Rather than putting it front and center as the main goal, she suggests relaxing and focusing on pleasure instead. "When we do this, the orgasm emerges as a surprising and delightful byproduct," she says.