Proven Ways To Be Less Pessimistic, From A Psychiatrist & Optimism Expert

Martin Seligman, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of positive psychology and the study of optimism, found that while optimists and pessimists experience roughly the same number of adverse life events, pessimists engaged in the three Ps in regard to negative thinking: personal, pervasive, and permanent.

When something bad happened to them, they predominantly blamed themselves for it (taking things personally), believed all aspects of their lives were at risk (pervasive), and viewed it as a permanent loss. I might add a fourth P: remaining passive in the face of obstacles.

Here, genetics is part of the story. In 2011, UCLA researchers found that optimism was associated with the oxytocin receptor gene1, or the OXTR gene, and that this gene was also related to having good psychological resources. What are these resources? The UCLA researchers defined them as optimism, mastery, a sense of control and agency, and a sense of self-worth.

Oxytocin is popularly understood as a cuddle and bonding hormone, secreted when a mother is bonding with her baby, during childbirth and breastfeeding, and during sexual activity. But oxytocin also functions as a neurotransmitter in the brain that increases in response to stress and is associated with prosocial skills such as empathy, trust, relationship building, and enjoying the company of others.

In addition, it’s now believed to be linked to having key psychological resources that can make the difference between experiencing temporary disappointment and sadness and falling into a prolonged depression.

Pessimists tend to ruminate about the past and are thus more predisposed to depression2. They also worry about the future, putting them more at risk for anxiety3.

Those who show characteristics of pessimism may have a few things in common. Negative beliefs may sometimes get in the way of forming close and trusting relationships or they may perceive intimate relationships as exhausting for various reasons, including often feeling hurt or rejected.

They may hold themselves and others to very high (sometimes arbitrary or unrealistic) standards, making it hard for them to give themselves and others credit for positive outcomes. Their brains and bodies are exposed to high levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, norepinephrine, and epinephrine. Exposure to chronically high levels of these hormones leads to increased inflammation and damage of blood vessels, atherosclerosis, and elevates risk for everything from depression to strokes, heart disease, vascular dementia, and beyond.

The UCLA researchers suggest that through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), study participants could employ these psychological resources to buffer themselves against stress, depression, and anxiety.

The science of optimism has caught the attention of researchers in nearly every field of medicine, from psychiatry to immunology, cardiology, and surgery.

My 8 Pillars of Practical Optimism are grounded in evidence-based approaches and best practices in multiple areas, including internal medicine, psychiatry, neuroscience, behavioral and positive psychology, social science, neurobiology, yoga and mindfulness, and even philosophy. They’re formulated to help you build your psychological reserves and as skill you can rely on in times of need. Think of them as emotional shock absorbers, cushioning you against life’s inevitable speed bumps and (sometimes ginormous) potholes.

It's important to note that most people show qualities of both optimism and pessimism. They’ll feel optimistic about some areas of their lives, more pessimistic about others, and sometimes both at once.

This is why it’s totally normal to want to believe in and hope for the best possible outcome, while also experiencing fear and doubt. The key is being able to accept fear and doubt while maintaining a constructive outlook, applying strong coping skills, and doing your level best to make positive differences in the areas of your life that need a boost.

Perhaps you’re familiar with the story “The Two Wolves.” There are different versions of the story, but in the one I know, a Cherokee elder is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he says to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continues: “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thinks about it for a minute and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The Cherokee elder replies simply, “The one you feed.”

This is a story about the connection between personal accountability and human potential. According to a study published in Psychology and Aging on the role of optimism and pessimism4 in breast cancer recovery, it was more important not to be a pessimist than to be an optimist. This is an important finding, because as we’ve said, pessimism and optimism are actually two pathways that often coexist.

Which pathway you choose, like which wolf you feed, is up to you.