The Real Reason We Judge Others Without Knowing It + How To Exit The Cycle

It's no secret that judgment is deeply embedded in us as human beings. Think about it: We judge ourselves—our thoughts, appearances, and feelings (and then we judge ourselves for having those feelings). We judge others—their decisions, experiences, and backgrounds. We're constantly analyzing and criticizing every action to make sense of the world. 

This judgment is perhaps at the heart of our systemically racist society. According to sixth-generation shaman and author of Spirit Hacking Shaman Durek (who is also the star of mbg's first original documentary, HEALERS), we typically attach moral values on our judgments of others, perpetuating harsh binaries that have become so ingrained in our culture. "Judgment makes you blind," he says. "You'll never see me, know me, because all you see is what your brain is telling you to see based on the world." 

According to Durek, judgment is simply a reaction to fear. "Judgment is your protection mechanism," he says. "So you don't have to engage with the unknown." When we don't have enough information about someone, our inherent instinct is to fear them rather than striving to learn about them and their background. 

It's going to take conscious action to go against deep-rooted judgmental instincts. The first step: Educate yourself. Learn what resources you have available, Durek says, and don't be afraid to ask questions. (After all, that fear is what propels us into judgment in the first place). "We have to engage the conversation through education and asking people about their culture," he continues.  

After we commit to education, Durek says the next step is to "get out of the idea of shaming, blaming, and naming." In other words, removing any shame associated with a genuine learning journey.

The system, according to Durek, is designed to keep us divided, pitted against each other, in order to keep marginalized groups in oppression. That's why it's so important to band together. It's how we can rise above the system itself. "Let's turn our anger into fuel to propel ourselves into creating real change, so we can thrive and be done with this," Durek says.