Does Your Wife Have No Desire For Sex? 9 Things You Can Do

The female sex drive is an unpredictable roller coaster. There are high highs and low lows, and you never know when one or the other is around the bend.

These sporadic twists and turns can be especially challenging in a relationship, as low libido in women can mean a dry spell for the couple.

Partners are left to wonder, if their wives are not interested in sex, what can they do to rekindle the fire? 

While sex isn't everything in a relationship, physical intimacy has its role and serves a purpose. Not only does it feel good and bring the couple closer together, but intimacy coach Hannah Deindorfer (aka The Libido Fairy) tells mbg that regularly having sex benefits the individuals as well as their union.

Physical, mental, and emotional benefits include improving cardiovascular health and strengthening the immune system and muscles; reduced stress and anxiety; boosted mood, self-esteem, body positivity, and connection to their power and pleasure.

For the record, low libido in women is common because sexual desire is a complex emotion that is easily triggered one minute and then takes a little (or a lot of) extra work to muster the next.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, a person's sex drive is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors, while sex hormones (estrogen and testosterone) and neurotransmitters are what regulate it. In other words, whether or not you're physically attracted to your partner is only one piece of a very convoluted puzzle. 

That said, if a woman is not interested in sex in their long-term relationship, isn't having sexual fantasies, and has been clinically diagnosed with significant personal distress, according to The International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health1, they may be experiencing hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).

Sometimes a couple struggles to connect intimately if they spend too much time together. For example, maybe you both work from home, so you're constantly on top of one another (and not in the way you'd like to be).

Sometimes a lack of physical intimacy stems from a lack of emotional intimacy. One way to bridge the gap is to engage in "self-expansion" activities, during which you learn a new skill and grow as a person and, in turn, as a couple.

White explains that the self-expansion theory "suggests that engaging in novel activities with a long-term romantic partner can reignite feelings of passion from the early stages of a relationship by helping you to witness your partner in new contexts."

Another way White suggests couples connect outside the bedroom and make their partners feel seen and loved is to start an appreciation jar. "When your partner does something that delights and inspires you, write it down on a piece of paper, and choose an appreciation once a week," White explains of the practice.

White would like to issue a PSA that foreplay isn't just for the bedroom or right before the main event. To help get your partner in the mood, White recommends igniting desire through small acts of foreplay throughout the day. 

Low sex drive in women is normal, and most women will experience a lack of interest in sex at some point(s) in their life.

Sometimes, it's a physical issue, sometimes it's a mental health concern, and other times low libido in women is caused by sheer lack of interest.